Sunday, February 13, 2011
It's all you...
When my kids were little, I had a no tolerance policy (or so I thought) about lying. Lying really makes me angry. I told them that if they did something wrong, they would get in trouble for it. But if I found out they lied about it, they would get in much more trouble. So they might as well fess up from the start, as "moms always find out...and moms do...sooner or later".
I have to admit I am too often guilty of lying by omission. I don't like to hurt people's feelings so I have always tried to live by the rule "if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all." I've come to believe that's not always a best practice even though it has good intentions. It's a difficult habit to break, however.
Many people seem to want to believe the worst in others. That's why gossip (and political commentators) are so powerful. The quickness to blame is seldom balanced with the same speed to credit.
How have people developed this fear of admitting they might not know something? I suppose they think it makes them look stupid, but the real question is why they don't know it. Have they not been exposed to it? Have they not had enough practice with it? Did their own laziness attribute to the lack of knowledge? Did they not ask? Do they think we all learn by osmosis? No, too often they are hoping to slide their ignorance under the radar of observation. I've got news for them. It doesn't work as "moms always find out...and moms do...sooner or later".
The worst to me is when one is caught in error, they seek to blame everyone but themselves. Do they really think that? Do they really not understand the concept of personal responsibility, or are they lacking the integrity to admit when they don't know something or do something wrong. Maybe they are just higher on human scale than I am, as I seem to do things wrong all the time.
Do yourself and our society a favor. Teach your children that lying won't get them anywhere. Teach them the joy of learning new things, but that sometimes it is hard to learn those new things, and that's okay. Teach them that it's okay to not know something, that that is an opportunity to learn. Teach them there are no stupid questions. Teach them that it is not necessary to put someone else down, in order to build themselves up. Teach them personal responsibilty.